‘Feeding the Horses’: modern slavery in The Archers

In our forthcoming, and fourth Academic Archers book, Flapjacks and Feudalism: Class Politics in The Archers, our co-founder, Dr Nicola Headlam, has a chapter about the current modern slavery storyline in The Archers. Here, Nicola writes on the subject as a precursor to her chapter, ‘Feeding the Horses’: Modern Slavery, the dark side of construction hidden in plain sight in Ambridge.

‘Feeding the Horses’: modern slavery in The Archers

 

Gavin (agitated): That’s not how some people will see it, Dad…They’ll say they are slaves.

Philip (growls): Don’t use that word.

(The Archers, broadcast 22nd May 2020)

The reveal, from May of this year,  that Philip and Gavin were colluding in using forced labour followed the accidental explosion in the kitchen at Grey Gables. Blake, the (then-nameless) worker on the spot had ignited a gas grill while using flammable chemicals as he was working on an empty stomach. ‘The Horses’ it emerged, are three vulnerable previously street homeless young men who the Mosses use as an unfree source of labour. They are British, with English as their first language, though talk with hesitancy and a lack of fluidity. They are highly vulnerable and have been ‘rescued’ from the ever-present dangers of rough sleeping. They are housed and fed by the Mosses (in this instance, not enough) and have been manipulated by them into believing that they should be grateful.   Since the end of formal lockdown measures where Gavin spent months with the young men it appears that the psychological mechanisms whereby he viewed them as non-human have slipped, not so for Philip who discussed the sale of a faulty horse with chilling matey-ness to an unknown connection.  This served to broaden out the issue. It is not that the mosses are psychopaths, acting alone. Such practices are rife, and normal for others too.

As I googled ‘what are the signs of modern slavery?’ the algorithm in my computer offered me the earlier searches ‘what are the signs of coercive control’ and ‘what are the signs of sepsis.’ The prompts made me smile, the big meaty public information storylines to have hit Ambridge in the past few years. All set up within long standing characters, vast amounts of public information imparted and the inevitable tussle between credulity as regards characterisation or in service of the drama. As always, when deploying ‘issues’ the scriptwriters engage with the relevant pressure groups, victim’s advocacy and NGOs in order to anchor the storyline. The Gangmasters Labour Authority this week GLAA were consulted by writers in developing credible modern slaves and they tweeted the link this week to a chilling public information film about recruiting ‘unfree’ workers, Trading the Horses. In it a female voice describes how easy it is to attract the vulnerable from drug rehab, homeless shelters and prisons. and in their helpful information we can see how far the young men being enslaved by Moss construction have been street homeless, that English is their first language but that they may have learning difficulties.

 It is made clear to us that Philip styles himself as their saviour rather than their exploiter, and how terrified Blake was during his stay in hospital showed the emotional and psychological grip exerted by Philip and Gavin over their charges. The Archers has shown some bravery in highlighting this issue with such a long build up (extended by the COVID-19 lockdown) and Philip growing in the village as a ‘decent bloke’ despite his sideline as a gangmaster and exploiter of modern slaves. It was telling that in exploring the truth underpinning the storyline I have learnt some truly horrible things about the dark side and how routine the exploitation of workers can be. As the quotation from the chair of the Chartered Institute of Builders, the contemporary incarnation of the very guilds and trades organisations which would have secured decent pay and conditions within early mercantilist capitalism there are the insidious tentacles of slavery within business models which squeeze margins at every point in the supply chain. In exploring how and why ‘the horses’ have ended up in Ambridge I followed the trail into the campaigning activities of various non-governmental organisations (NGOs) and pressure groups who have been highly effective in bringing these elements of the black and grey economy to light. the prevalence of modern slavery speaks of a wider form of neoliberal necropolitics – in which logics of accumulation and hierarchies are played out on the bodies of workers. In this form of political economy social and emotional vulnerability and economic precarity combine together,  trapping those unable to escape exploitation. Victims may be of either gender, be British or from elsewhere and fall through all the cracks and safeguards upon which we all rely. I salute the scriptwriters for their careful examination of this horrible corner of the economy, the backs of those upon whom prosperity is built.

 

 

Not one but two calls for papers!

Two calls for papers at Academic Archers HQ - for the 2021 conference, and for the fifth book, on fandom.

Both listed below, with staggered deadlines.

Call for Papers – The Sixth Academic Archers conference on BBC Radio 4’s The Archers, February 2021 (online)

Dr Cara Courage and Dr Nicola Headlam invite the submission of abstracts to the sixth Academic Archers conference, to be held on 19-21 February 2021, at University of Felpersham, and The Bull and Brookfield Barn, Ambridge (aka, Zoom.)

The conference will feature a number of 15-minute papers, as well as 5 minute Quick Pitches, as well as seeking formats that work with the digital platform, such as film, audio and webinars, around the programme and issues contained therein, of BBC Radio4’s The Archers.

Submissions are invited from any academic discipline and subjects. Past papers have included:

·       ‘From the moment those two joined the committee it’s been grunge bands, sumo wrestlers and souffle competitions’ - What Ambridge’s civil society says about UK politics in 2019

·       Why are the residents of Ambridge so financially gullible and what can we do about it?

·       When the Script Hits the Fan: When Archers fans stop listening – and why they can’t completely keep away

·       Baddies in wheelchairs and the Disneyfication of Disability

This list is not meant to be proscriptive, exclusive or exhaustive, but is meant to inspire you to think how your academic research, sector professional expertise or listener forensic knowledge of The Archers can illuminate and explain life in Ambridge and Borsetshire as well as national and global rural issues. The conference is intended to give fans of The Archers a platform to exercise their love of the programme and their subject area and submissions for consideration are welcomed from those within academia and professional sectors, those working and retired and those with specialist knowledge of The Archers.

If you are a fellow The Archers fan and/or academic please submit your abstract of 200 words with a short biography to both cara@caracourage.net and headlams@gmail.com by 31 August 2020, indicating if you are proposing a paper (15 minutes), Quick Pitch (5 minutes) or other format. Please submit this as a Word attachment. Programming will be determined by an Academic Archers peer review panel and will be communicated from end-September 2020.

Further information on Academic Archers can be found at www.academicarchers.net/ where you will also find links to films of the 2017 and 2018 conferences.

Call for Chapters –Academic Archers book on BBC Radio 4’s The Archers fandom and teaching, learning and research, with Emerald 2021

Dr Cara Courage and Dr Nicola Headlam invite the submission of abstracts for consideration for the fifth Academic Archers book, published with Emerald, a dual aspect concern of BBC Radio 4’s The Archers and fandom studies, and of use of the programme in teaching, learning and research.

Confirmed book chapters include:

·       Fans, Flouncers, Fundamentalists: Customs and belief systems of The Archers online fanbase

·       Cult and Culture: Transformative Fandom de dum de dum de dum

·       Gauging Guerrilla Academia – Exploring the impact of the ‘Academic Archers’ conference

·       When the Script Hits the Fan: When Archers fans stop listening – and why they can’t completely keep away

·       The healing powers of everyday country folk: The Archers? Better than therapy!

This list is not meant to be proscriptive, exclusive or exhaustive, but is meant to inspire you to think how your academic activity on fandom, or your use of storylines or radio production techniques for example, can add to our understanding and value of life in Ambridge.

The book is aimed at an academic and professional audience. Submissions are invited from any academic discipline and subject and can be single or inter/transdisciplinary, anchored in research and/or theory. Chapters selected for the book are invited to present a paper at the sixth Academic Archers conference, February 2021.

This publication will be the fifth of the Academic Archers library, joining The Fall of the House of Aldridge: power, politics and family in Ambridge (Emerald, 2021), Gender, Sex and Gossip: Women in The Archers (Emerald, 2019), Custard, Culverts and Cake: Academics on life in The Archers (Emerald, 2017) and The Archers in Fact and Fiction: Academic Analyses of Life in Rural Borsetshire (Peter Lang, 2016.)

Emerald publishes monographs, handbooks, short form and professional content across a range of business, finance and social science disciplines. Its aim is to publish new and innovative research and practical content that meets the needs of researchers, students, educators and practitioners.

If you are a fellow The Archers fan and/or academic please submit your abstract of 200 words with a short biography to cara@caracourage.net by 31 July 2020.

Further information on Academic Archers can be found at www.academicarchers.net/ where you will also find links to films of the previous conferences, podcasts of the Saturday Omnibuses and publication information.

 

 

ACADEMIC ARCHERS SATURDAY OMNIBUS

To see us through the Archer-less Saturdays for the foreseeable times of isolation , we will host an Academic Archers Saturday Omnibus for anyone to join.

What: An hour and 15 minutes where we watch vids of past Academic Archers papers and have a jolly old chinwag about them.

Who: anyone can join in, and we welcome those that have presented before to present again this way.

When: Saturdays, 11 am to 12.15 pm (and we can keep the channel open if you want to continue chatting), starting 28th March

How: Zoom

What next: put the date in your diary, await our sign-up info, tell your Archers-listening friends.

About Zoom and how to use it

Zoom is a free online video conferencing tool. It can work from your computer, phone or tablet.

You will need to have a Zoom account to use it. This is free and can be got from https://zoom.us/ or via its app (from whatever app store you use.) Do this in good time before the session starts to save the hassle on Saturday.

Each Zoom session has its own unique link and this will be posted each week for the following Saturday. It will be posted to the Facebook page and to the homepage of academicarchers.net. You don’t have to be logged into Zoom to join a session.

Click on the link and you will be asked if you want to join that meeting – click ‘Join a Meeting’ when prompted. Commonly you will be asked by Zoom is join using your camera and microphone – click yes to both (the camera can be turned off and the audio muted later on if you prefer, but do allow them to begin with.)

On joining the session, you will see a screen of all the people in the session, with a controls bar along the bottom and different screen layouts buttons on the top right.

Once you have joined the Zoom session, you can:

1.       turn off the camera if you don’t want people to see you – your name will show in its place. Click the camera icon in the controls bar. You can toggle this on and off as you like.

2.       you can turn off the microphone so people can’t hear the noise from where you are. Click the microphone icon the controls bar. You can toggle this on and off as you like.

3.       you can chat to all the people in the session or just one – click the ‘chat’ icon in the controls bar and a side panel will open with the chat in it (looks very much like a Facebooks message format.)

4.       you can leave the session at any time – click the ‘leave meeting’ button in the bottom right corner. If you want to rejoin, click back on the Zoom link.

Get yourself used to these as we will use them in the Saturday Omnibus sessions. The person leading the session will also share their computer screen with you – this is just a way for you to see what is on their screen and does not interfere with your computer/phone/tablet. Cara and Nicola cannot answer your IT questions and if you have any queries about using Zoom, please look at the video tutorials on its website.  

Omnibus etiquette

·       If you join at the start of the session, before we begin to look at the vids, say a ‘hello’ and then please mute your microphone. You can wave to others as they join or say hello to them in the chat space.

·       If you join when the session is underway, please mute your microphone and say hello with a wave or in the chat space.

·       Please keep your microphone on mute at all times, unless you are speaking. Background noise, the sound of typing, even of breathing, is all picked up and amplified around the chat space which is a distraction for all, and particularly hard for the person speaking to concentre though.

·       If you have a question to ask or a comment to make, please either post this in the chat space or wave, and Cara and Nicola will come to you. When you come to speak, please unmute your microphone and then mute it again when finished.

·       Cara and Nicola will be reading the chat space and will share the comments made.

·       At the end of the session, Cara and Nicola will ask if you want to keep chatting, and if so, will keep the session open (though they may leave the session themselves.)

To whet your conference appetite...

A blog post from conference speaker and Academic Archers royalty, Claire Astbury, of her presentation, ‘Fans, Flouncers, Fundamentalists: Navigating the subcultures of online Archers fan spaces.’

When I want to comment on The Archers, although I am one of those lucky fans who do know fellow listeners in real life, I usually choose to say something online. I might tweet using the hashtag #TheArchers, I might leave a message for the Archers fan podcast DumTeeDum, or I might add to a message thread on one of the Archers Facebook groups I am a member of.

What drives people to set up, join, or leave a fan group? I surveyed over 1000 Archers fans who engage online and also asked questions of group moderators. Over half of the moderators who responded to my questionnaire had established an online group to meet a need they didn’t feel was met elsewhere in cyberspace, Perhaps that's why 30%  of those who engage online said they had left a group because of the atmosphere or tone.  The role of moderators in setting the rules and tone for their group was commented on by members and moderators alike.

Archers fans congregate online to talk about the programme but also to talk about completely different things; their pets, their knitting, their politics, their menopause. My survey identified over 70 separate Facebook groups, alongside Archers discussion threads on other message boards and dedicated websites.  One respondent commented: “There is a wide variety of options which means any fan should be able to find a group/groups they feel suits their needs” whilst others mentioned feeling part of a family, finding their tribe and the life changing impact of finding fellow listeners online.

When it comes to slang, euphemisms and favourite characters, there are many similarities across Archers fans regardless of what platform they use or group they belong to.  The most commonly recognised terms that I tested related to nicknames for key characters.   Some terms such as “Flouncing” emerged not from the programme, but in online fan spaces. “Flouncing” – leaving a group or announcing the intention to leave, often accompanied by a photo of an ostentatious flouncing frock, has now become a well-established custom across a range of platforms.  Other customs are specific to certain groups – the fundamentalist beliefs of the Archers Anarchists for example, who refuse to accept it is a scripted drama with actors. Borchester Asylum, a subgroup of Archers Anarchists, was mentioned by several people and is an example of one of the subgroups and subcultures which have emerged from longer-established fan forums.

When people find the group or groups that are right for them, they are loyal and enthusiastic about their online experience. 

I asked fans about the benefits of their engagement with online communities and several themes emerged. Firstly it's clear that talking about The Archers online enhances listeners experience of the programme and encourages people to listen at all, especially during difficult storylines.

For listeners outside of the UK, the ability to talk to someone about the programme online was significant.  Three quarters of non-British listeners outside of the UK did not know anyone else who listens, except for people online, a figure which was only true for one sixth of UK based British listeners.

The friendships and support of fellow online fans was commented on by many people and was especially valued by older respondents. Nearly half of the fans aged over 70 said they had made friends and had emotional or practical support from among an online fan community.

One in ten of the people responding to the survey had been involved in a pre-internet Archers fan group, mainly via post, but only about one in a hundred were still engaged in those off-line groups.

Overall the research I have done shows that Archers fans value meeting in an online space to meet each other, to talk about the program or indeed anything else. Online groups develop their own language, rituals and atmosphere although many of the nicknames and euphemisms used by fans are common across the fan space. This may be because, with such a wide variety of groups, individual Archers listeners can join multiple groups for different discussions. New groups spring up to meet changing needs and The Archers fan multiverse continues to develop.

 

Hello you two!

Announcing our guest speakers for Academic Archers 2020.

DumTeeDum’s hilarious Lucy V Freeman (Lucy has been listed in Huffington Post's 'Funny Women to Watch') joins us as our Saturday night after-dinner speaker; and at our Museum of English Rural Life welcome reception on the Friday, we are joined by Ben Scott-Robinson, of The Small Robot Company, with a lost pitch to the Ambridge Conversation Trust selection committee.

The Friday welcome reception has sold out, but there are still tickets for the ‘formal-ish’ dinner – and if you have heard Lucy’s Ambridge monologues, you know we are in for a treat. We say ‘formal-ish’ as you are welcome to come dressed for The B@Ambridge, to Lower Loxley Orangery, to a plate of oven chips with Johnny -and after dinner speech from Lucy V Freeman.

University of Reading’s Whiteknights campus (which contains the Cedars hotel, the Meadow suite and the Park House bar. Pre-dinner drinks, Park House Bar, from 6 pm, for 7.30 pm seating.

Tickets here: https://www.tickettailor.com/events/academicarchers

 More on Lucy:

Lucy is co-founder and presenter of DumteeDum, the Archers podcast which has recently been Top Ten in iTunes. She is a comedy writer and actor and writes for the BBC and corporate clients including: Radio 4, BBC Earth, StoryWorks, Shell, Ballou PR, Weber Shandwick, PayPal, BT and Network Rail. Lucy has worked on BBC local radio, written and presented on BBC Radio 4 and the BBC World Service as well as being a freelance journalist on The Times 'Body & Soul' section, The Guardian 'Family' section and Discovery magazine and been a contributor to BBC Woman's Hour, Sky One to Three, BBC 5 Live and BBC Breakfast News. 

More on The Small Robot Company:

The Small Robot company is revolutionising farming with an easy, low-cost, leasing service of autonomous, precision agri-robotics for a healthier, more efficient and sustainable future. This ‘Farming as a Service’ end-to-end system is designed to increase crop yields, accelerate food automation, preserve soil condition and provide a step change in productivity, accelerating the pace towards automation in the farming industry. Its team brings together pioneers and leaders in their fields of agriculture, engineering, machine learning and engineering. Gathering over 15 years of academic research in agri-robotics and 20 years of service design experience we will help farmers to continue to feed our population in a sustainable and smart way.

 

 

 

Academic Archers 2020 conference proceedings announced!

Exciting times at Academic Archers as we can announce the speakers and papers for our fifth conference, taking place 28 February to 1 March next year, at The Museum of English Rural Life and University of Reading.

We are turning our lens to the family dynamics of Ambridge, as well as imaging it as both Springfield and an Egyptian village. This year too, with now five years of Academic Archers under our belts, we are turning the lens on ourselves, asking what Archers fandom is all about (aside from shouting at the radio as our dear Ambridgians go about their daily lives.)

All the info can be found below, and with box office open and tickets selling fast, we advise people to get in quick - and links to all the ticket types can be found below.  

 

Academic Archers 2020, conference proceedings

Friday, 28 February to Sunday, 1 March 2020

 

The Academic Archers MERL Take Over, Friday 6 pm to 8.30 pm

Welcome Reception, The Museum of English Rural Life.

Join us for the opening reception of the 2020 and fifth Academic Archers conference as we take over the Museum of English Rural Life for the evening! We have planned a pop-up exhibition of all things The Archers in its collection, a tour of its galleries, and a buffet dinner (and a special guest TBC!)

 

Tickets: https://www.tickettailor.com/events/academicarchers/290982/

 

Academic Archers 2020, Saturday 9 am - 5.30 pm (Sunday, 9.30-12 – see below)

Conference, The Great Hall, University of Reading.

Weekend tickets: https://www.tickettailor.com/events/academicarchers/293547/

Limited-number Saturday Day Tripper tickets: https://www.tickettailor.com/events/academicarchers/293554/

Academic Archers Formal(ish) Dinner tickets: https://www.tickettailor.com/events/academicarchers/293559/

 

8.30                                 Doors and registration

9 – 9.15                          Welcome from Dr Cara Courage and Dr Nicola Headlam, and Academic Archers Assembly 1                          

Session One: Family - Power and Influence

9.15 - 9.45        Keynote: The 2020 network. One in, One Out, Dr Nicola Headlam               

9.45 - 10           Parents, siblings, and the pursuit of power: Predicting the future leaders of Ambridge, Timothy Vercellotti, Professor of Political Science, Western New England University                       

10 - 10.15         ‘From the moment those two joined the committee it’s been grunge bands, sumo wrestlers and souffle competitions’ - What Ambridge’s civil society says about UK politics in 2019, Amy Sanders, PhD student, Cardiff University

Questions/discussion

10.30 - 10.45   Visionary or Vanity Project – Will the Ambridge Conservation Trust deliver a sustainable future?, Shirley Cramer, CBE CEO Royal Society of Public Health and Food, Farming and Countryside Commissioner, and Jo Bibby, Director of Health at the Health Foundation

10.45 - 11         “If you have security, Ed, that is everything”. Deconstructing ‘security’ as a buffer against life’s challenges, Lalage Cambell, retired Principal Lecturer, Reader and Head of Department of Applied Psychology at Cardiff Metropolitan University

11 - 11.15         The law of the land, land law and family dynamics in The Archers,       Elizabeth Campion, Master of Laws at the University of Cambridge  

 

11.15 - 11.25 Tea Break

 

11.25 - 11.30   Archers Assembly 2                 

 

Session Two Family dynamics - wellbeing and mental health      

Talking Cures

11.30 - 11.45   “They Needed Counselling”, Karen Pollock, psychotherapist specialising in Gender, Sexuality and Relationship diversity           

11.45 - 12         The healing powers of everyday country folk: The Archers? Better than therapy!, Dr Fiona Starr, Clinical Psychologist and an Associate Professor of Clinical Psychology at Middlesex University in London            

Ageing in Ambridge

12 - 12.05         Joe’s Funeral, Abi Pattenden, Funeral Director

12.10 - 12.25   Psychological Wellbeing in Retirement: What The Archers tell us,        Bronwen Williams, mental health nurse

12.25 - 12.40   Can’t Afford the Laurels? - Care Provision in Ambridge in 2041,                    Ruth Heilbronn and Rosalind Janssen, UCL Institute of Education

12.40 - 12.55   Why are the residents of Ambridge so financially gullible and what can we do about it??, Prof Joanna Gray, Birmingham Law School

12.55 - 2         Lunch

 

2 - 2.10             Archers Assembly 3                 

 

Session Three: the fandom panel

2.10 - 2.25        Fans, Flouncers, Fundamentalists: Customs and belief systems of The Archers online fanbase, Claire Astbury

2.25 - 2.40        Cult and Culture: Transformative Fandom de dum de dum de dum,           Helen Burrows, retired senior lecturer and practitioner in Social Work          

2.40 - 2.55        Gauging Guerrilla Academia – Exploring the impact of the ‘Academic Archers’ conference, Prof Carenza Lewis, University of Lincoln                 

2.55 - 3.10        When the Script Hits the Fan: When Archers fans stop listening – and why they can’t completely keep away, Dr Sarah Kate Merry, Coventry University

3.10 - 3.25        “I hate The Archers because…” - a conference intervention, Dr Jerome Turner

Panel responses and questions          

 

3.40 - 4           Tea break

 

4 - 4.10             Archers Assembly 4   

 

Session Four: Intertextual Lucky Dip

4.10 – 4.25       Rude mechanicals– Professional representations of the ‘amateur’ in The Archers Pantomime, Hamish Fffyfe

4.25 - 4.35        Baddies in wheelchairs and the Disneyfication of Disability, Dr Pauline Eyre

4.35 - 4.45        An overview of management styles in the Archers with a discussion of Douglas McGregor’s management Theory X and Theory Y to the Ambridge workforces, Lucinda Bufton

4.45 - 5              DumTeeDum singalong recording, Academic Archers 2020 Conference Award Ceremony

5 - 5.10             Conference proceedings close for the day

Walk/drive/taxi to dinner venue

6.30                   Meet for pre-dinner drinks, Park House, Whiteknights Campus, University of Reading, Reading, RG6 6UA

7 – 11                Academic Archers Formal(ish) Dinner, The Meadow Suite, Park House

 

ACADEMIC ARCHERS 2020, Sunday, 9.30 am -12 pm

Conference, The Great Hall, University of Reading.

 

9.00                   Doors and tea and coffee

 

Session 5: Sunday Best

9.15- 9.25         Bringing Ambridge to an Ancient Egyptian Village, Rosalind Janssen, UCL Institute of Education

9.25 – 9.35       Ambridge vs. Springfield, Gary Gilday

9.35 -9.50         A divided village: a narrative study using a theoretical lens of speculative ontology, M Bartlett

10.00 - 11.15   Live Listen, Sunday The Archers Omnibus – and world record attempt at the Tweetalong (tea and coffee available – wandering about encouraged) 

11.15                 Conference closes

 

Pip and progeny power - updating The Headlam Hypothesis

Following on from her paper at last year’s conference that looked at the family networks in Ambridge and where the social power therein lay, our co-founder/organiser Dr Nicola Headlam has updated this theory now with regards the current happenings in Ambridge – its baby boom, and what this means for where power is located. The PDF here updates ‘The Headlam Hypothesis.’

With Pip about to expand the Brookfield Archer clan, and through this, raising the cache of the Fairbrother family, both these families find themselves in a new position of influence vis-à-vis other Archers and non-Archers alike.

In Nicola’s own words, ‘In this blogpost I am focusing on the putative baby boom in 2018 in Ambridge and explaining the ways in which the Archer/Fairbrother baby imperils the Headlam Hypothesis and shores up the tribe of Jill both vis-à-vis the hitherto larger and more powerful tribe of Peggy, but also as regards the combined network strength of the non-Archers who had been gathering in strength by virtue of their multiple connections with one another.’

Ambridge after all is nothing if not about the Archers families and their tussles…

The January 21st 2028 omnibus – competition winners

Over on the Facebook group we ran a competition to win a free ticket to the forthcoming conference by predicting storylines for a 2028 The Archers omnibus and our brilliant Academic Archers did not disappoint! We chose one overall winner, and so impressed were we and such a close call it was, we chose some special commendations too, who will get a discounted conference ticket.

As The Archers hunts for a new editor surely these brilliant stories of revenge poetic justice and political careers must be in the Ambridge crystal ball…

 

Winner - Beth LadyMac

Joe Grundy, millionaire CEO of Tumble Tussock Cider Inc, and Peggy Woolley enter The Guinness Book of Records as the oldest couple to find love and marry, after an almost fatal argument about the venue and celebrant. They finally agree upon Lower Loxley Mediaeval Theme Park and the parachuting vicar, Nigella. Bartleby, the world's oldest working horse, takes them to their honeymoon destination, St Steven's Home of the Am Upstream. Brookfield Farm is now being managed by Fairbrother Ltd and is a successful distillery, its history commemorated in the names of its fashionable gins, the most successful of which is Grace's Stable. The Bull goes from strength to strength, little changed but for the addition of the DWE shower and B&B Block, financed by L & M Crawford (Costa Rica). Guests are sometimes unsettled by the call of a ghostly peacock.

Special commendations:

Eva Stickyfingers

Jack decides to request hormone therapy in preparation for a gender reassignment and intends to divorce Helen as a parent, while tracking down Rob to establish a new parent-child relationship

Vanessa FitzGerald

Pip’s twins, Phil and Heather, are 10 and already fighting over which will inherit Brookfield and which will inherit Toby’s multi-million pound gin business. Jill thinks they are both highly gifted and bakes flapjacks for them every day. Josh is furious at the injustice of one of the twins getting the farm, despite not having lifted a finger to help since 2015. Ben hasn’t been heard for the past 12 years so no-one knows, or cares, what he thinks. David and Ruth decide to sell out to Freddie, who has taken over Demara from Justin Elliott and wants to buy as much land as possible to develop his personal sideline - mushrooms and weed. Rob comes back having spent the past 10 years studying how to successfully block a culvert without getting caught and the entire village is destroyed in an epic flood. Only Hilda Ogden survives.

Sam Dixon

Having lost out on the Bridge Farm housing development, Emma has stepped into political life and is now spending most of her week at Westminster as a newly elected independent MP standing on the issue of affordable housing. She often meets up with Brenda in London. Ian and Adam have bought Grange Farm from Oliver where they live with 9 year old Alexa. Eddie & Clarrie live in Will's cottage while Ed and Emma are in a caravan still saving for their deposit. Pip has retrained as a relationship counsellor and is successfuly raising Jilly 50/50 with Toby who has bought a half share in The Bull (inexplicably renamed The Scruffy Duck) with his inheritance from Robin.